better world

Small targets toward happiness – Why we find it hard to be happy?

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Why we find it hard to be happy? From a very early stage of our lives we all had to answer of very abstract questions as, “what would you will to do when you’ll be an adult?”, “What are your dreams?” and “If you had all the money in the world what would you do?”. While it is true that long term planing can help us finding direction, this kind of occupation can be extremely toxic. Why? Because it is sending an individual mind to the realm of the unrealistic future and detach him form the actual reality, which is now.

Living in our current western society can be very complicated. We have evolved to live an abstract life. We are constantly busy with our phone, getting endless information from far lands about endless subjects. We communicate with the majority of our friends trough social media, dreaming to be like people we don’t actually know. Using money we cannot touch and concern about event that will maybe happened in the near future. Moreover, we are passing hours in front of television following series that are far from representing the real life and we became hunted by time, as we are trying to stay young and we are afraid to die (At a point in the far future).

All of those factors are playing a big role in our capacity to maintain a happy life. I believe that we all heard at least once a sentence that goes like this – “Concentrate in the now and create real friendship to promote happiness”. It is easier said than done. Moreover, I find that those kind of sentences are to general to actually serve any body that is searching for good answers.Moreover, this sentence many times already describe our lives, even if we are far from happiness.  In the end of the day, you can only be in the now as you can only ever be here and some virtual friendship are real as the conversations are real and they actually exist somewhere. Let’s take the moment to understand it a bit better. Even if a person is dreaming to become rich or having a better job, he is doing so by concentrating in the fact that at the moment he is not there, which is concentrating in the now. When you’re talking with a friend on social media, sharing pictures, videos and chatting the conversation is real. So what can we do to promote our happiness?

Well, It took me a very long time to understand it fully. But amusingly enough I realized that it is not that the sentence above was wrong, it was just incomplete. Here is how I would phrase the “Core sentence for happiness” – “Concentrate in what is happening to you now, be thankful for the good things and try to see how to improve the immediate problems, while creating real and deep conversation and life experience with the people around you”. As you can notice, the world “Friend” has been deleted from my sentence. Not because friends are not important, but because in a Facebook era the word friend has lost its meaning.

It is hard to be happy when things can always be better and the media is constantly showing us people living a better life. Additionally, being concentrate is virtual sharing and friends on social media makes us feel small and lonely, as we are setting alone in a room communicating with the big world. It makes us lose the notion of our own existence and disconnect us from the actual life around us.

I believe that understanding the problem is the first and most important step toward finding a solution. In my next post we will talk about my solution and how you can practically use it in your life. It is “my way” not because I have some ownership on it, but because I’m using it in my life…….and it works.

Share you thought with me in the comment section and express your opinion. Awareness and open conversation are the key for the creation of a better future.

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