better world

Small targets toward happiness – it is all about the way, not the destination

Life is all about the process, not the destination. I find this rule to be one of the most important lesson I learned on my way to happiness. It is so fundamental that we tend to forget it or ignore it. Alan Watts once said: “Life is like a concert, you don’t come to listing to the last note, you come to enjoy the process”. Life is a process, a personal one. In the end of it, we are the only one that are watching the course of our own life. We live it, remember it and make it what it is. It is the life and its path that is the essence of happiness, the fact that we are here and the fact it finishes at a point. I’m sure it is not the first time you hear this concept. Nevertheless, it never really generate you the understanding needed to become happier. So what does the actual difference.

As I wrote in my previous post, in our current society, we have a tendency to be concentrated in everything except what’s happening now. It a side effect of becoming global and adapting the latest technologies. In many ways, this habits are exactly the reasons for the separation of ourselves from our own lives. we dream big, communicate toward the void of the internet concentrating the results instead of enjoying the process. Lets get into it and understand how it affects us an a personal level

Small targets toward happiness

Big dreams or big concerns are in the majority of the cases not directly affecting your life. In the good case, they could affect it in the far future and in the bad case it will never happened or it is somebody else dreams. From the other side, your life are full of events that are actually affecting your actual life. Everyone have good events and things he can be thankful for, while it is inevitable to have some problems in life and things we would like to change. (If you think there is nothing good in your life, it is because of how you choose to see life and not because it doesn’t exists….different conversation). In general, concentrating in abstract future have a very serious consequences which is that you’re not here right now. Which make you miss the good events and make you unprepared to find solution for your actual problems. 

As we are a social being, we have the need for social interaction, not virtual one. In the reality, we are all surrounded by people. In the majority of the cases good people. If one feels that this sentence is not true, he/she can just go out and surround himself with more people. This people around you are living a very similar life to yours, which mean they probably have the same experiences and life difficulties. In many cases, they are around you because the like it and would like to interact with you from their side. As we attach words as “sharing”, “Engagement” and “Friends” to social media, we forgot how to apply it to real life. We are all searching to be understood and to be part of a group. This is easier done that what the majority of the people think. It requires only to actually concentrate in the person in front of you. But really doing it. Without thinking about your phone, your dreams, your concerned about a far future or about the next TV show you want to see.

The way I manage to do it, is to stop concentrating in long term plan, big dreams and virtual ideas. Concentrating in the people around me and make small targets for short time period. In that way I’m forced to concentrate on my path and not think about my destination.  In the reality, if every step that you do is in the right direction, you will finish by arriving to the right destination without thinking about it. Small targets refer to small achievements. not small because they are not important, but because they are achievable immediately. It reinforce one self esteem, feel the life with real experiences and bring back motivation to live the life on a daily basic.

Small steps, small targets and small moments are what makes our live beautiful. Try it. It is so easy to practice that we sometimes forget how important it is. It works for me I truly believe it can work for you.

Share you thought with me in the comment section and express your opinion. Awareness and open conversation are the key for the creation of a better future.

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